


So Dawn Goes Down to Day

by shewhorantstoomuch



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depressing, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Pacifist Route, Post-Soulless Pacifist Route, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, disscusions of self harm, miserable afterlife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:32:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5391173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewhorantstoomuch/pseuds/shewhorantstoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing gold can stay. [Warning: this old story is kinda angsty, maybe a bit too angsty.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. oh shit

It wasn't long before the ability to roam the surface freely was cut short for the monsters. Facts were facts. Humans sorely outnumbered them, and therefore had power over them. Humans also didn't like them, and were unhappy about having a past nuisance come back once more. The human child that broke the barrier was not there to support them, as they had vanished from their bed in Toriel's home mere days after reaching the surface. Asgore tried to make peace, but mankind would have none of it. The only thing that kept them from driving them underground once more was the fear of a monster absorbing a human soul during warfare.

Protests were made, threats carried out, and eventually a compromise was reached: the monsters could stay on the surface, so long as they did not leave the area of land at the base of Mt. Ebott. In the fear of human resentment, the Royal Guard patrolled the borders of the monster village regularly, looking for any attackers.

Time went on, and ten years passed with no reset. Toriel worked as a Sunday school teacher. Alphys and Undyne now had four years of marriage under their belt. Papyrus had joined the Royal Guard. Although it was wonderful that his little bro was making head way, it left Sans with some more spare time than he knew what to do with.

Somehow, Sans found himself speaking more and more with Asgore. Since the ill will between him and his ex wife had been settled, the king would often stop by Toriel's house. For whatever the reason, he was easy to talk to and it wasn't very long before the two were confiding in each other. The big turning point had started when he was venting about his clinical depression one day after too many drinks at Grillby's new bar. Turned out that Asgore struggled with the same condition. It was nice, knowing you weren't alone.

But it was one evening at Grillby's when Sans was struck with the feeling that something was wrong. The gut instinct was akin to something he experienced when Papyrus was a baby bones; waking up with a jolt in the dead of night and rushing to his crib, breathing a sigh of relief to find his baby brother sleeping peacefully.

Suspicious, Sans glanced around the bar. Laughter and chatter was everywhere. Monsters swapped stories and hugged friends. A cheerful tune by the Red Hot Chibi Peppers played on the jukebox. From the other side of the room, Lesser Dog lifted his head to make eye contact with Sans, tail wagging as he did so. Sans waved in response and turned to look at Grillby, observing his gloved hands as he swiped the counter. Sans shrugged. It must not have been as important as he thought if the bartender hadn't noticed his reaction.

The skeleton had a frothy beer raised to his mouth when the feeling struck again, nearly causing him to double over. Gasping, he set down his drink and clutched the area of pain. His eyes began to water as he pressed a hand to his mouth.

Feeling bile rise up in his throat, he got up and tried to head for the restroom but didn't make it more than a few feet before his legs felt like they were about to give out. Sans leaned against the countertop, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing hard. The activity in the bar hushed and Sans felt a hundred pairs of eyes on him. Someone asked him somethimg but it was too muffled to hear. His vision exploded into flashing lights before fading to black. His legs gave away from underneath him.

Grillby ran to his side just in time to catch him as he blacked out.

He woke up on the booth, with everyone looming above him. The bartender was helping him sit up when someone came bursting through the doors. It was Undyne, her sholders heaving in sobs as she leaned against the door frame for support. Such a rare sight could only mean bad news. "We got ambushed by humans." she wept.

It was then that Sans noticed the scarf she clutched to her chest. It looked torn and dusty.

"Papyrus is gone."


	2. shits fucked

That night, Sans unleashed havoc in his bedroom. 

Hearing the noise, Toriel ran upstairs and, upon reached the doorframe of his room, barely dodged a nightstand that was thrown her way. At this, she reevaluated her course of action and promptly ran back ownstairs to phone for help. Sans' door slammed shut on its own as she fled.

Soon, everyone had gathered at Toriel's homestead. Some (like Asgore) pacing in the hall and jumping when the especially loud crashes sounded from Sans' room. A number (like Toriel) standing off to the side, hands clasped and eyes closed as they whispered a prayer of comfort for the grieving. A few (like Grillby) sitting outside the bedroom door, trying to wait it out so that they could comfort their friend, tell him that it would all be okay. Others (like Undyne) following their guardsmen instincts and patrolling the outside of the house in the rain, making sure no one would be hurt if a piece of furniture was hurled out a window. Surprisingly, the only object this had happened to was a small bedside lamp. Those left (Alphys) trailed behind Undyne with an umbrella in hand, biting their nails in worry and wondering what, if anything, would be the right thing to comfort her friends.

Finally, the chaos from inside the bedroom came to an eerie hault. Asgore paused, fiddling with his thumbs nervously. Toriel sent up a final silent prayer. Alphys ushered Undyne back inside. They gathered in the hall, exchanging nervous glances. The only sound was the patter of rain as it hit against the roof of the house.

Grillby placed his hand on the knob, turning it and opening the door.

The bed had been Sans' first victim, the mattress torn in half so that metal springs protruded from the side. His comforter was shredded, claw marks raking off the skin of the fabric. Pillow stuffing littered the floor. A dresser had been slammed against the ceiling and smashed the overhead light, the furniture laying broken in the middle of the floor while deep fractures pulsed on the timber. The walls had been torn at, the decorating paper ripped off to expose the plaster underneath. Furniture was slashed and slashed again, splintered and torn from the rampage. Broken pieces were everywhere.

But Sans was nowhere to be found.  
_____________________________

Some time later during the same night, a teenage boy from a human village was found murdered in a brutal manner. His mother had been watching tv in her room when she heard something being thrown into the walls. It was done with such force that she reported fearing that the foundation of the house would collapse. The lady ran to her son's bedroom, the source of the noise, to see his broken body laying in the middle of the floor. Authorities were contacted and the boy was declared dead on the scene.

Unbeknownst to the local residents, the boy had given a fatal blow to a Royal Guardsman of the monster village earlier that day. His partners in crime said nothing of the deed, fearing that they would be treated with the same fate if they were to raise suspicion against the former underground residents. Due to lack of forensic evidence, the case would quickly go cold in the months following and never be solved.

It was as if the killer had managed to slam the boy against the walls, floor, and even ceiling without ever touching him.


	3. yeet

After staying silent for nearly a decade, the echo flowers of Waterfall finally had a new sound to repeat: the muffled footsteps of a skeleton wearing blood soaked slippers as he made his way to a ledge overseeing the area. Soon the footwear was dropped and the sound changed to boney feet padding against the cold ground.

Sans kicked his bare feet absentmindedly, chewing on the sleeve of his hoodie and enjoying the cool air seeping into his bones. His slippers had probably been washed into the dumps by now. Soon, his remains would do the same after he scooted off the ledge and plunged to his death. That is, if he actually found the drive to jump. Turns out that his laziness knew no bounds. He was slacking of at his own suicide.

The meltdown at Toriel's had been done in a mania. His actions had been violent and erratic but his mind was eeriely calm, planing which furniture was to be destroyed next with the same tone as a person writing down a grocery list. Suicide had only occured to him later on. He was originally going to go with hanging, but the noose was flimsy and he was forced to go with another method, which brought him here.

While he was reflecting, it dawned on him as to why a reset hadn't occurred in so long: the human child was dead. Of course, the answer was so simple. They had disappeared off the face of the earth less than a week after everyone reached the surface. He let out a bitter laugh and looked up at the plastic stars glued onto the ceiling. Served them right, selling their soul like that. 

Had the child spared at least one monster, Sans might've felt remorse over the fact that they never even had a funeral. If Papyrus's killer had hesitating after striking him instead of running away laughing, as Undyne had described, Sans might've felt remorse over the fact that he had killed them.

But they did. So he didn't feel sorry, not one bit.

Oh, Papyrus. The memory sent a shudder of grief through him and he hugged his knees to his chest, tears blurring his vision. The taller skeleton would've been so distraught to know that his brother had killed someone so brutally.

Although the boy had not suffered (with his neck having snapped as soon as he hit the ceiling,) the crime scene was an awful mess. A female voice that Sans assumed to be the boy's mother had screamed from across the hall as she heard the commotion. He had to teleport before she burst into the room to see the crime. He hated the boy but felt bad for the woman.

If Sans had known she was home, he might've warped the kid to a more remote place in the woods to kill him so she wouldn't have had to see her son's broken body. Granted, she had to have been either very oblivious or very naive to not have foreseen her son's evil true nature, so perhaps she deserved it.

Speaking of killing, it was probably time for him to get a move on with this already.

Ignoring the ache in his chest, he scooted closer to the edge. He only had 1 HP, there was no way he'd survive the fall. Just close your eyes and move forward, don't think about it...

Asgore's hand seized the hood of his shirt and pulled him back right before such a thing could happen.


	4. idk

The goat king dragged him back several feet from the edge before releasing his hood, placing both hands on the skeleton's shoulders. Sans looked up at the man hovering over him and grinned. "hey buddy. you coming to make a suicide pact?" Asgore laughed bitterly, easing himself onto the ground to sit beside him. "I'll consider that offer." The action was oddly casual for someone who had just hauled their friend away from death. Sans was all too glad for the change in mood.

"so, how'd you know where to find me?" The smaller monster winked. "some kinda depression telepathy?"

"I'd just call it... a lucky guess." His eyes hardened. "Everyone's worried about you, you know."

"and soon i'll be with my brother again and they won't have anything to worry about." Sans chirped, his expression cheerful.

The king sighed, shaking his head. "Sans, I... don't think that's how it works."

"maybe not, but i'm willing to give it a shot. all i ever was was a lazy bum with a saint of a brother. now that he's gone, what's left of me?" Sans shrugged and looked up at the ceiling. The stars stuck onto it appeared cheap once you were able to compare it to the real thing. Nonetheless, they still held a nostalgic sort of beauty. He wondered if any of the monsters on the surface ever missed this place.

Asgore was unconvinced of his worthlessness. "That's not true," he protested, furrowing his brows sternly. "You were the head assistant of the greatest mind to ever live at one point in time. Dr. Gaster raved on and on about you."

Sans stiffined, hand still clutched around a tuff of grass. "that's the first time i've heard anyone mention him in years. after he... fell, i stored all his notes away and it was like he never existed." He said quietly. "sometimes i still use sign language out of habit, even though with him gone i don't have a reason to anymore."

Asgore nodded sadly. "He was such a kind old soul. It's a shame we weren't even able to have a funeral for him."

"nah, he'd probably like better like that. gaster was so shy, he'd be embarrassed to have anyone cry over him." The skeleton laughed, smiling at the memory. "he was adorable. god, i miss him."

An awkward silence followed. All around them, echo flowers repeated the conversation as if they were egar to spread the news among themselves after so long. Finally, Sans coughed. "hey, asgore?"

"Hm?"

"have you... ever, uh, hurt yourself?"

"I've thought about it, after my children... after Toriel left, but I've never acted upon it. Why?"

"i gotta confess something. after papyrus was born and even after the barrier was broken, i'd... daydream about dying. a lot. everytime i did, i'd get this tinging feeling from my chest-" Sans put a finger to his chest and traced it to his arm. "-to my wrist. it's not a fetish or anything, but it feels good. even before everything went downhill, it's always been there. if i had a dream about dying, i'd feel that sensation in my sleep." He had never told this to anyone and feared he reaction, but the monster king only nodded empathetically.

"I've felt something similar to that, except in my case it was an ache in my chest. It's the same ache I felt when..." His eyes darted around nervously as he stumbled over the wording. The smaller monster offered an encouraging smile, but somehow it only made the lump in his throat worse. "...when I killed those children." Asgore choked on the words as they left his mouth, burying his face in his hands to hide the shame on his face. The thought of his awful deeds always brought pain. He rarely spoke of what he had done.

It had always been a sore subject. Many times before had Sans received text messages from the king in the dead of night, seeking a distraction after nightmares of drowning in blood. Asgore would never know how much the skeleton empathized with him. Sans scooted closer and rubbed the larger monster's back, trying to comfort him. "c'mon, asgore. you did what you thought was the only way out. no one hates you for it, not even toriel. she didn't mean it back then, and she doesn't now."

The goat turned to him and gave a small smile. "This, coming from the person who asked to form a suicide pact?" This earned a laugh from Sans. "hey, i'm just speaking the truth. you're still welcome to take up that offer."

"I think I'll pass, thanks. And Sans..." Before he could pull away, Asgore gripped his wrist and looked at him pleadingly." I don't want you dead, either." In that second, the king had never looked more frail. He had aged since coming to the surface, his beard getting grayer as his eyesight worsened. A great warrior turned into a sad old man, as most do. And now, he would only have more pain to bear on his shoulders. The skeleton hesitated for a moment, his gaze moving back and forth between the ledge and the king.

Finally, he smiled. "alright, fluffybuns. you got me." Smiling back at him, the goat released his arm and helped him to his feet. They faced each other for a moment until Sans stuck his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes. He opened one to look up at the goat before pulling up his hood.

"asgore, i'm sorry." Asgore frowned, then his eyes widened. In the next moment, the skeleton teleported to the edge of the cliff and stepped off the ground.

All around, flowers echoed the sound of Sans' body falling into the water.


	5. im actually really proud of this chapter

The guardsman shivered under his armor, the scarf around his neck soaked from the downpour. He was going to catch his death out here! The chain mail he wore was one of his favorites but as useful as it was in combat, it was pathetic at keeping him dry in rainfall. The weather was so severe that it was hard to see anything in the distance over the pouring rain. Flinching as a clap of thunder sounded from behind, he continued his search for shelter.

Where had this rain come from? It was a clear day when he set out on a patrol with Undyne. How had he gotten separated from her? One second they were laughing together as friends do, the next he was trudging along through a downpour in an unfamiliar area. The skeleton needed to find someplace with a cell phone or a map, something that could give him directions.

At last, Papyrus was able to make out a building structure through the haze of the rain. He walked faster as a building came into view, only to halt in disappointment when he got close enough to see the poor condition of the place. Several windows were boarded up, with ivy crawling up the brick pattern of the exterior. Despite this, a light above the doors remained on, showing a small sign of hospitality. Maybe he could wait out the storm here. Pushing aside his doubts, the monster shoved open the doors and stepped inside.

The lobby was inhabited by a small number of monsters and humans, despite the pitiful conditions of the building. Yellow floral wallpaper peeled under dim lights, further complimenting the gloomy atmosphere. A dirty green couch laid in the middle of the room, the cushions torn from age and use. A man sighed as he looked down at his newspaper, the coffee beside him having long since gone cold. At a table close by, a group of cat men smoked cigars as they shuffled their card decks. The only people on their feet were a rabbit lady in a hat pacing to and fro worriedly and a woman with a blonde poodle cut hairdo, glaring at the guardsman as she washed the counter. On her desk sat an old cord phone.

Her scowl only increased as the skeleton approached her. Papyrus was wary of humans, but smiled at her nonetheless. Maybe she was scared of monsters and was nervous over having several of them in the same room as her. Surely she would feel more at ease when she saw that he meant no harm. "HI THERE! DO YOU THINK I COULD USE THE PHONE?" The counter lady kept staring at him, eyes narrowed. Perhaps she hadn't heard him clearly. "CAN I PLE-"

"Don't you have a cell phone?" she snarled, nose scrunched in disgust. Papyrus was stung by her remark, but brushed it off. "I DO, BUT IT'S AT HOME. I WAS ON PATROL WHEN I GOT SEPARATED AND I JUST WAS WONDERING IF I COULD-" She cut him off once more with a roll of her eyes. "I heard you the first time, dimwit." Finished with wiping the counter, the woman produced a pair of scissors and was now occupied with cutting newspaper clippings into various shapes. The skeleton sighed.

"I'M SORRY THAT YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY, BUT YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION. CAN I PLEASE USE THE PHONE?" She tensed, and for a moment he worried that he might've offended her somehow. But the woman looked up at him and smiled sweetly. "Why of course, honey." "OH, THANK YOU! I-" She severed the phone's cord with a snip of her scissors and handed him the receiver, its wire dangling loosely from one end. "Here ya go, sweet pea."

The guardsman stared at the object in shock before slamming it down in a fit of rage. Kindness had not worked and his patience was gone. "YOU," he bellowed, setting both hands on the counter, "ARE THE RUDEST HUMAN I HAVE EVER MET! MY BROTHER HAS BAD DAYS ALL THE TIME, AND HE NEVER TREATS ANYONE LIKE THIS!" As he spoke, he began to long for his brother something awful. He wanted to hug him, to let him know how much he meant to him. Most of all, to tell him how happy he was that all his bad days hadn't turned him into someone as wicked as this woman.

The lady grinned darkly, her voice as sweet as antifreeze. She spoke in a fake, mocking gentle tone. "I don't know what you expected from a human. After all, you were killed by one."

He opened his mouth to reply, but sucked in an odor of rust that stole his breath. Coughing, the guardsman broke into a cold sweat. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. Something that made him feel like he was falling.

Looking down, he saw blood leaking out from underneath his chest plate. A terrible pain began to throb from under his rib cage, the pulsation worse than any ache he felt before. Worse even than the night terrors he had as a baby bones about being beheaded, so haunting and realistic that they left him screaming for his older brother.

Panic setting in, the skeleton leaned against the counter as he hyperventilated. His bones felt like ice, the friction of them grinding together causing an ache that kept him from moving. The only sensation he felt was unbearable pain, coming in hot white flashes. This is what dying felt like, wasn't it? Wanting to run, wanting it to stop, wanting Undyne and Sans and the future you'll never have but not being able to do a thing about it. The counter lady said something, her tone bitter and sarcastic but she felt far away.

He squeezed his eyes shut in agony, trying to fight the sensation of falling that threatened to engulf him. He had to hang on! For his brother, for his fellow guardsmen, for... for...

No one moved to catch Papyrus as he crumpled to the ground.

The next thing he knew, he was laying on the sofa in the lobby, blood still seeping out from underneath his armor. A gentle hand with a hole in it rested against his forehead. The man it belonged to crouched down beside him, wearing a shapeless black coat. One of his eyes was swollen shut, with cracks jutting down his face. "I'm sorry," the stranger mouthed, his expression mournful.

It was then that Papyrus knew he would never see his brother again. Hiding his face in his hands, the skeleton wept as the man tried to comfort him. Gaster shook his head, blinking back tears. How could fate be so cruel?

Outside the building, the rain continued to pour.

__________________________________

Sans woke up to find himself on the couch in Toriel's homestead, feeling cold despite the blanket draped over him. It took him a moment to remember everything that had previously taken place in the waking world. So, the fall wasn't enough to kill him and Asgore was able to fish him out of the river. He wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. As he sighed, the skeleton picked up a warm aroma. Looking beside him, he saw a plate of cinnamon butterscotch pie left out for him on the night stand, glowing under the yellow light of the lamp. Beside it sat his slippers, freshly cleaned. Upon closer inspection, Sans discovered that the blood stains they previously bore had been scrubbed away with bleach.


End file.
